


Rivets and Steel

by Miracle_Novelist



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, M/M, anxiety???, dave a suffering, dave is always suffering, enjoy, god i hope this formatting shit works out, guess what time it is ahahaha, i hope this brings you joy, i wrote this all at once, its not entertaining if dave isn't suffering, just a bunch of bullshit i guess, karkat vantas is a gud boy, quick i gotta make a title up, shit i need to give this a title, they stuck on that frick-fracken meteor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-09
Updated: 2018-06-09
Packaged: 2019-05-20 03:37:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14886887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miracle_Novelist/pseuds/Miracle_Novelist
Summary: It’s become some sort of habit...you could say. Absentmindedly running your hands along the wall, feeling for the cracks and rivets. Sometimes you scrape your nail under a loose screw and you stand there circling around it just for the sensation. You usually catch yourself after a few minutes.Maybe you’ve finally gone insane. Maybe these dull metal walls and abyss-like hallways have finally gotten to you. Probably. Most likely.





	Rivets and Steel

    It’s become some sort of habit...you could say. Absentmindedly running your hands along the wall, feeling for the cracks and rivets. Sometimes you scrape your nail under a loose screw and you stand there circling around it just for the sensation. You usually catch yourself after a few minutes.

    Maybe you’ve finally gone insane. Maybe these dull metal walls and abyss-like hallways have finally gotten to you. Probably. Most likely.

    What else is there to do? Sit? Make more stupid music that sounds exactly the same as the last dozen songs? Spread yourself across your bed and stare up at the ceiling that’s so high up that you can’t see it? No, that’s given you enough anxiety. Sometimes, you feel like something’s watching you. Like there’s something lurking up there, waiting for you to make a move. This usually leads to hours (maybe even days, if your sense of time is correct...which it’s probably not) of motionless panic.

    So yes, you find yourself standing in an empty corridor, picking at the individual bolts holding the steel plates together. You once punched the metal to see if it would dent.

    It didn’t.

    Damn...you are a fucking lunatic aren’t you? Oh well. It’s not like you can do anything to help your case. You’re stuck on a fucking meteor hurtling through empty space...that kinda brings limitations.

    What you can do, however, is busy your mind with useless things, like the sensations of the walls. The cool even planes, the dirty, rusty bits that send shivers up your spine when you scratch at the grittiness, the vibrations from the structure’s inner-workings that you sometimes put your ear to. It all keeps your thoughts from wandering into the unknown; the abundance of 'what if's.

    “Strider?”

    As if the wall shocked you, the hand that was caressing the crisp fissure snapped back on its own accord and a surge of energy, or surprise, went through your heart. You look up to see Karkat eyeballing you. His face is scrunched up, as usual, but this time it looks more like caution.

    “You okay?”

    Well shit, you haven't really seen a living being in...what...two weeks? It’s hard to tell. When’s the last time you even spoke out-loud?

    “Yea. I’m good. Why?”

    “Uh...because you were...stroking the wall?” His lower and upper eyelids narrow with scrutiny. “For what seemed like a long time?”

    You pick at the dry strings of skin peeling back from your nails, some of them bleed slightly. It’s quite interesting how the salts from your skin make the minuscul injuries sting so bad that your toes tingle.

    “Jus’ thought it felt nice.”

    He rolls his eyes but doesn’t stop inspecting you. You wouldn’t be surprised if he thought you were losing it. You are. You definitely are.

    “Hey, uh...I was gonna go back to the common room and set up a movie. Do you...want to join me?”

    A movie! Yes! This is exactly what you need to keep your mind occupied. Maybe you won’t have to do laps around the abandoned part of the meteor, scratching at the walls and tapping absent rhythms into them. Or sit at your computer trying to recreate the passion that’s been lost.

    “Yea, sure. Sounds swag.”

    Sounds swag? That’s what you come up with? I know this has already been established, but you need help Dave. Truly.

    He grimaces at your choice of words, why wouldn’t he?

    “Okay. Follow me then?”

    “Yup.”

    Jesus.

    You would think you’d feel uncomfortable or awkward strolling completely silent behind someone, but you’ve become so accustomed to the sound of your own footsteps against these hollow floors that it’s...sort of soothing? Maybe you’ve been so isolated from people that you’ve forgotten about social norms. Damn...that sounds pretty accurate huh? How unfortunate.

    You don’t notice that you’ve been scraping your dull nails across the wall until Karkat turns abruptly around to glare at you. That earns a small apology and a few steps away from the wall.

    Once you arrive to the common room, Karkat orders you to ‘plop your ass on that cushion and sit still’, which you do without a word. The room is too big for the objects inside. Everything’s spread out at abnormally wide distances. The bookshelves along the wall look too bare and too full. The quaint table used for games and reading and such is weirdly placed in between the shelves. Maybe to fill the space. It’s all an awkward mess. The armrests of the red love seat you’re on are too low to comfortably prop your arm up unless you slouch at a painful angle. The coffee table is far enough away where you can’t put your feet on it, but you can lean forward to put down a glass.

    Karkat sets up the movie and presses play before you’re done inspecting everything in the common room. Through the whole film, you’re painfully aware of how uncomfortable your arm is up on the armrest. It might’ve gone numb…

    There are a few times you look over at Karkat to see if...well, you’re not really sure. You just look over at him from time to time. His eyelashes are too fucking long to be real. It’s unfair. You follow the curves of his strong nose, and the tightness of his bottom lip as he bites it in concentration. You weren’t sure if aliens had Adam's apples, but you guess they do. Ever so often, you watch as it dips and comes back up.

    You start rubbing your socked feet on the floor, loving the feeling of them gliding across. You could probably skate pretty well on this surface.

    When the movie is over, you realize you weren’t even watching it.

    “So?”

    You look over at him. Damn, you’re fucked.

    “I know it’s a little weird, what with the way the whole ending was basically a last-minute save, but I think it showed a very nice transition from moirallegiance to matespritship to kismesissitude. Well, there wasn’t really any moirallegiance...actually. The main character kind of just...asked them out right off the bat. But still, what did you think?”

    “Uh...it was...nice. Really...got sucked into the ending there.”

    He looks at you questionably, “You didn’t even pay attention did you?”

    “No, no I did not.”

    He...laughs? It’s sort of a breathy...nasally...chuckle, but it’s a sound you’ve never heard out of him before. You can’t help but smile at it.

    On your way back to your room, you trace your fingertips up and down the walls, like waves. It’s cool and sometimes they’d jump over bolts and rivets, but then they would return to the planes of cold steel. You lose track of time.

    Once inside your room, you fall onto your bed and close your eyes, imagining how your day (or night...it doesn’t really matter) went. Soon though, you feel it watching you. You don’t know what it is. You can imagine countless things, and you have in the past. It could be anything. It could be nothing. But the hairs on your arms stand at attention and there’s a shift in the air. It might sound crazy, but it feels like it somewhat tipped the universe to the right. You lay there as still as you can. You breathe the shallowest you can. You do everything as minimally as you possibly can. At some point, you fall asleep and you don’t notice it.

    You only know you conked out when you shoot up out of bed in confused panic.

    You don’t know how long you were asleep, but you’re glad you’re awake again.

    For the first time in...months, you open up pesterchum. You scroll past all of the missed messages and straight to the name you’re looking for.

 

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 02:48 --

TG: hey

 

    There’s this underlying fear that he won’t answer; that you crossed a line. You haven’t responded to anyone in...an absurd amount of time.

 

CG: HEY

 

    Fuck.

 

TG: hey

TG: i

TG: fuck

TG: i dont know why i pestered you

TG: i think

TG: maybe

TG: that theres something wrong with me

TG: haha

TG: fuck

TG: that...

TG: im sorry

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 02:54 --

 

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 02:59 --

CG: YOU'RE AN IDIOT

TG: maybe

CG: HEY...

CG: DO YOU WANT TO WATCH ANOTHER MOVIE?

TG: yes

CG: OK. COMMON ROOM. TWENTY MINUTES.

CG: (:B

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 03:06 --

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed...it's currently 6 am and i haven't gone to bed so...imma do that.
> 
> thank you for reading =D
> 
> i might add more if im feelin up to it


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